Thursday, August 21, 2025

Tammy Smith

The Old Life I Had


Cracks—another

hole in the moldy

sandwich I bought

at the bodega

down the street from my SRO

in San Francisco’s Tenderloin.


Soggy, limp

pieces of city life

squished between

cold cuts: pale, sickly

bologna or honey-maple ham,

with slices of packaged

cheese clinging

to the plastic

they were stacked against,

like mice stuck in glue.


I was a grown woman

living in an eight-by-ten

square of squalor,

in one of the world’s

most beautiful places.


“Gross,” my friend said,

pinching her nose

whenever she opened

my tiny fridge—

the kind college kids keep

in their dorm rooms.


I stood beside her, staring

at dirty shelves stacked

with cheap leftovers,

containers of take-out—

my greasy life

wrapped in saran and styrofoam,

grittier than the sidewalk

outside this shitty hotel.


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Tammy Smith

The Old Life I Had Cracks—another hole in the moldy sandwich I bought at the bodega down the street from my SRO in San Francisco’s Tenderloi...